Beyond the pint - how men are finding new ways to connect

In Britain, the pub has long been the heart of male connection. It’s where friendships are made, worries are eased, and emotions are shared but usually only after a few drinks. For generations, alcohol has been the social glue that helps men open up, even if only for a night. It’s a space where “how are you doing?” can be answered honestly, as long as there’s a pint in hand.

But what happens when the alcohol disappears? When that shortcut to connection is gone, many men find themselves without an obvious way to belong. For all the laughter and camaraderie alcohol brings, it can also mask loneliness, stress, and pain and make it harder for men to express themselves openly.

I experienced this first-hand. My drinking began in college and gradually became a daily habit. By my forties, alcohol was my way to cope with pressure, boredom, heartbreak, and loneliness. When I was diagnosed with liver disease in 2020, I realised how much my relationship with alcohol had defined not just my health, but my identity.

By the time I received a liver transplant in October 2021, I knew I’d been given more than a second chance - I’d been given a purpose. I began volunteering with the British Liver Trust and Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham, supporting patients going through the same fears I once had. I also became a Champion for Alcohol Change UK, determined to turn what nearly destroyed me into something positive

One thing that struck me in recovery wasn’t just how alcohol affects the body, but how deeply it shapes our culture - especially for men. Alcohol doesn’t just alter our moods temporarily; long-term consumption can have serious effects on both mental and physical health. It can increase the risk of liver disease, cardiovascular issues, and certain cancers. It can exacerbate anxiety, depression, and sleep problems, and dull our ability to process emotions. Many men, myself included, drink to cope or to connect socially, without fully understanding the toll it takes.

This awareness was one of the reasons I helped create Unwined and Let’s Talk Alcohol. These are alcohol-free community events designed to bring people together through conversation, curiosity, and connection. These gatherings aren’t about lectures or judgment; they’re welcoming spaces where people can learn about what alcohol really is, how it affects the body and brain, and the ways it can influence mental health. At the same time, they recreate the best parts of social life, the laughter, friendship, and openness - without the pressure to drink.

At these events, men often arrive cautiously, unsure of what to expect. Many stay for hours, engaging in open conversations and sharing experiences they haven’t spoken about elsewhere. Through these shared experiences, I see a community forming built on support, honesty, and mutual understanding. Participants leave with new insights about the effects of alcohol and a sense of connection that often feels deeper than traditional drinking environments.

When men come together without alcohol, they don’t lose connection - they deepen it. Conversations become more real, humour remains, and there’s honesty, vulnerability, and respect. These aren’t just alcohol-free spaces; they’re connection-first spaces, where a community grows through the stories people share.

For me, recovery has been about rediscovering what it means to belong, not through alcohol, but through community. We don’t need the pint glass to be part of something. We just need space to talk, to listen, and to support one another.

This International Men’s Day, my message is simple: real strength isn’t measured by how much you can drink, it’s shown by how open you can be. Every time a man walks into one of our events and starts a real conversation, I’m reminded that we’re building a new kind of culture, one connection at a time.

Learn more about Simon's Unwined events here.

Learn more about becoming a Community Champion for Alcohol Change UK here.

Or, if you would like to learn more about starting your own alcohol-free and sober curious events, get in touch with the Alcohol Change UK Engagement team at [email protected].