We all know the feeling - you’re riding on the high of positive emotions, and somehow it feels easy to stay on track as you try to make a change. Handily, emotions like joy and excitement can increase motivation because there’s that satisfaction we can feel when we achieve what we set out to do. This also increases the likelihood that we will be motivated to do it again in the future, so positively reinforces our efforts. So, if you’ve been feeling great about that row of yellow teacups in your Try Dry® app, it’s nice to know that feeling might just spur you on to achieve your next row!
Contrast this with emotions that can negatively affect us and reduce that level of motivation we need in the moment. For example, feelings of frustration (like perhaps not seeing the changes you want by a certain point in time) and other negative emotions can remind us of all the challenging times we have faced in the past. Before we know it that mole hill seems like a mountain that we just don’t know if we have the energy to face. So how do we overcome these pitfalls or learn to harness our emotions?
Here are five questions you can take to help you guide your next steps:
This is where journalling can help. By writing out your thoughts and responses you can begin to uncover what you were feeling, or the emotion that was triggered. Find a way to include questions to ask yourself like: ‘What was I feeling in that moment?” and use the feelings wheel to help you laser focus.
Using simple scales like 1 to 10 (1 being the lowest intensity,10 being the highest intensity) and rating your feeling can be a great way to get out of the ’black or white’ mindset and seeing the different shades of grey in between. Remember that emotions do not last forever and can change quickly. Using rating scales can be a great way to visualise and monitor that change.
We usually know a bit about our triggers but part of the challenge of harnessing your emotions is about uncovering what you didn’t know. For example, in social settings without a drink you may discover that you actually feel quite self-conscious meeting new people than you were ever aware of when you were drinking. See this time as an opportunity to learn about yourself and discover ways to manage these triggers without turning to a drink. It can be helpful to view cravings as a torch shining a light on something we need to pay attention to. Use the moment to learn something about yourself and your triggers or needs, rather than getting caught up in negative, spiralling thoughts.
When making change we are always learning and trying new things. The old you may want to avoid feelings at all costs, or act on impulse and do something that derails your progress when confronted with an uncomfortable feeling. We can start by asking: ‘What do I want to do about this feeling?’ We may find that some different options open up to us in the process. You may find by just acknowledging the feeling, without swatting it away or beating yourself up, is a game changer for you. Remember it’s ok to feel and you have permission to; it doesn’t have to mean anything unless we make it.
Finding ways to deal with feelings that align with our goals can be very empowering. Is there a way you can channel your emotions to better your physical and/ or emotional health? Choose an outlet whether it’s physical, creative, relaxing, or grounding, depending on what we need.
By being open to the process, we can learn to embrace the opportunities that change can bring. As the legendary champion boxer and activist, Muhammad Ali, once said: “Don’t count the days, make the days count” - and you can make them count by being curious, experimenting, learning and showing yourself it is possible to do things differently.
