“I no longer feel alone in my struggles”: The importance of peer support with Recovery Cymru

Many people hold off from asking for help for their substance use because they feel judged by society. They might hear themselves labelled as an “alkie” a “druggie” or a “junkie”, adding to their sense of guilt and shame, and adding to the pain that keeps them using substances. Family members can feel these negative attitudes too – towards themselves and their loved one. They may even start to be believe that these labels are true.

Everyone who attends Recovery Cymru’s recovery spaces in Cardiff and Barry – workers, volunteers and members – has their own lived experience of substance use or is a close recovery ally. It might be experience of their own substance use or a loved one’s. It’s this shared experience that helps us break the cycles of shame and guilt. Speaking to someone who has been where you have been can lighten the burden of judgment you can feel as a substance user or a family member. It starts to shrink the feelings of isolation and aloneness that accompany substance use.

As one of our members put it, “The people supporting me have similar life experiences to myself, making me feel understood. I also saw how others in recovery were successful in their recovery, which gave me hope”.

Group meetings, I believe, are where peer support is clearest to see. Knowing that other people have similar life experiences encourages people to express the thoughts and feelings that they have left unspoken. Hearing other people express the same experiences that you have had makes you part of something – it gives you as sense of belonging and connection. It liberates peoples from the confines of substance use. Here’s how one person in our Families and Friends group described it: “The group for family members and concerned others is a place where we can be our authentic selves. We can share our darkest moments but also moments of hope too. When people in recovery come along to the meetings, I find their stories absolutely inspirational. They are brave and leave me with a great feeling of hope. I no longer feel alone in my struggles to understand and support my loved one”.

Anyone in recovery from substance can have thoughts about using again. Understandably, family members can often be fearful of hearing such thoughts from their loved ones. They may find it difficult to respond in a calm and rational manner. They may react in panic, and their loved one may respond in turn with secrecy and lying – not wanting to worry their family, feeling they are not being listened to, or not wanting another argument to develop. So, having an environment where people can express their thoughts about using again, and where we can support family members to deal with hearing about them, is all-important.

One-to-one peer support – whether face-to-face, on the phone, or online – is also available at Recovery Cymru. These encounters and connections can help people identify the goals they want to achieve and plan to achieve them. Personal issues that are not appropriate for a group setting can be discussed in the confidence.

We can’t force anyone to attend Recovery Cymru, and we would never want to. That’s a decision someone has to make for themselves when they are ready for change. In the meantime, we are available seven days a week, 365 days a year, and we link in with local hospitals, local drug and alcohol treatment services, and many other organisations who refer people to us.

We see Recovery Cymru as a safe space: somewhere people can enter without the fear of temptation from old acquaintances and old haunts. Someone taking the brave decision to change a behaviour that they have relied on to navigate life’s difficulties will have to relearn many of the life skills that have been abandoned due to their substance use. This can range from self-care to socialising again without the use of “Dutch courage”, and just how to manage life’s ups and downs.