Stu's story: I was a daily drinker

Alcohol had been a big part of my life since my late teens. My parents drank occasionally, wine with Sunday dinner, an occasional aperitif, but nothing more than that. The first time I remember getting an actual buzz from alcohol was probably in my early teens when I sneakily investigated my parents' drinks cabinet (which most homes seemed to have in the 1970s) while they were out. I opened a bottle of whiskey and if I’m honest was hooked from that day.

Being a professional musician, I have spent my whole life in clubs and bars, surrounded by alcohol. I don’t use that as an excuse, but alcohol was a big part of that culture. 

I never used alcohol to self-medicate. I just loved the taste and the feeling of being drunk.  

I was a daily drinker and was drinking 150 units or more per week. I had done several Dry Januarys with the intention of moderating afterwards but I failed miserably every time within a few weeks. On 18 December 2017, I woke up feeling a little rough and some dark thoughts came into my head, which was not like me at all. I realised it was the alcohol making me feel like that and I made the decision that I would stop drinking after the Christmas period. I told my wife (also a daily drinker at the time) of my decision and asked whether she was with me. She didn’t want to commit but said she would do Dry January with me and see how things went from there.  

So, on 1 January 2018, I told myself: “I DON’T DRINK”. It was absolutely non-negotiable. If the wine witch came knocking, I told her to “ F... OFF” and I moved on. I immersed myself in ‘quit lit’ (books to help you stop drinking alcohol - see my recommended reading at the end of the page).  

I checked into the Dry January Community Facebook group every single day, and later joined the Dry January and Beyond group. A lovely little group of six of us from Dry January and Beyond formed a Messenger group and called ourselves Sober Heroes. That was perhaps the biggest help for me. We helped and supported each other every single day and I’m not sure I would have made it without the support of those lovely people. We still chat every day. The subject of alcohol rarely comes up these days, but we have supported each other through many difficult personal situations. We have even met up ‘in real life’ several times, including tea at The Ritz which was one of the most amazing days of my life.  

One thing I would say is try not to do everything at once. Lots of people want to lose weight. Forget about that, focus on not drinking. My body was craving sugar and I would make a beeline for the fridge. Don’t worry about this, go with it, it’s part of the process.

We’re all different, my methods may not work for you, but the one thing that everyone who has successfully changed their relationship with alcohol has in common is 100% commitment. Whether it’s commitment to each and every single day, to a lifetime of not drinking, or to drinking less but not stopping completely, the commitment has to be there.

Stu's recommended reading

• This Naked Mind by Annie Grace - An absolute must.
• The Unexpected Joy Of Being Sober by Catherine Gray - The first quit lit I read.
• Alcohol Explained by William Porter - A fascinating factual book which explains exactly what alcohol does to us and why we become addicted.
• Glorious Rock Bottom by Bryony Gordon - A no-holds barred account of her drinking and recovery. I have read all of Bryony’s books since reading this one. If you're drinking to self-medicate, read Bryony. I love her!