Here we are at week six of your Sober Spring journey. Over the past month and a half of your challenge, the likelihood is that you’ve experienced some ups and downs, celebrations and struggles, and everything else life throws at us in between.
We’ve linked up with our Community Champion network for their take on this - an amazing bunch of people from all walks of life who have experienced alcohol harm. From coping with funerals of loved ones when the temptation to drink is all around, to working through a mental health crisis or coping with loneliness when switching to an alcohol-free lifestyle – we’ve had some incredible stories sent in.
Our Community Champions share their strategies and techniques for remaining alcohol-free during life’s most stressful pinch-points. Maybe you’ll find something that works for you from their tips that you can lean on should you need to?
Community Champion Adela shares her touching tribute to her mother with us and her reasons for staying dry on the day of her funeral.
My beautiful mother passed recently at the age of 87. She was like a movie star. Naturally her funeral like most funerals was filled with alcohol. People enjoying a fond farewell and 'crack' as they say in Ireland, (her homeland). I would have in the past always gravitated to that bar at the wake, a chance to binge drink in a farewell frenzy.
I would have in the past always gravitated to that bar at the wake…
Yet I chose not to drink on this day. I wanted to wave my fabulous mother off looking and feeling my best. I wanted to really remember the things people said to me, I wanted to hear their thoughts, memories and feelings about my wonderful mother. I wanted to engage in the whole process of her passing.
I wanted to engage in the whole process of her passing.
Drinking blurs a lot of this out, it numbs feelings and drowns out vision, hearing, and processing. There are still times in my life when I desire to do this - but not on this day.
Alcohol is not the plaster for all ills and that in many circumstances it takes away the feelings you need to truly enjoy and benefit from the experience itself.
Alcohol is not the plaster for all ills and that in many circumstances it takes away the feelings you need to truly enjoy and benefit from the experience itself. This leaves a void which carries regrets. Life is for remembering, preserving and nourishing our best moments. My mother was a movie star, and like all iconic movies, I didn't want to miss her last starring role. I toasted her better than I ever had that day without a drop, a tipple to remember.
Community Champion Charlie shares her experiences of coping with an acute episode of poor mental health without using alcohol as a crutch. *Trigger warning: Please be aware that Charlie’s story contains references to suicidal thoughts.
Before I got sober, my mental health was mixed up with my drinking in a way that made it impossible to distinguish between one problem and the other.
Before I got sober, my mental health was mixed up with my drinking in a way that made it impossible to distinguish between one problem and the other. I would have episodes where I’d cry and scream and panic regularly, but I was often drunk or hungover, so it was hard to tell what was causing me to feel this way. Whilst episodes of poor mental health became less intense and less frequent when I got sober, they didn’t vanish completely. On the contrary, they became clearer.
In 2021, my first year of sobriety, a handful of sad, difficult things happened. There was one period in particular where I was scared of myself, consistently thinking about suicide, and panicking through most of the day. My instinct in those moments was to run away, or drink, or do something dangerous, and so those moments were the ones that were most threatening to my sobriety.
My instinct in those moments was to run away, or drink, or do something dangerous, and so those moments were the ones that were most threatening to my sobriety.
Somehow, a small thought was the thing that kept me from turning to alcohol: the fact that it wouldn’t solve anything. I knew that if I drank, I would still feel this way, but worse. I would still be hurting people around me, there would still be pain to be felt, and I would be no closer to healing anything.
…a small thought was the thing that kept me from turning to alcohol: the fact that it wouldn’t solve anything.
Because of those extreme episodes, I learned coping mechanisms in sobriety that I wouldn’t have otherwise learned. Various mindful techniques are what got me through some of my worst days. I found different styles of breathwork particularly useful, as they shifted my mental state quickly and drastically.
Various mindful techniques are what got me through some of my worst days.
I also found exercise was a great way to curb feelings of frustration, self-hatred, and anxiety.
Probably most importantly though, was the fact that I told people. I’ve been lucky enough to have a loving partner, friends, and family. I was also in regular contact with my GP and mental health professionals – as I’d suggest to anyone in this position.
Sobriety is the single best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so grateful to have dealt with the difficult bits without drinking.
My wellbeing and general life are almost unrecognisable from three years ago. Sobriety is the single best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m so grateful to have dealt with the difficult bits without drinking.
Host of the What Next Sobriety podcast host and Alcohol Change UK Community Champion, Karl Considine, shares his experiences of loneliness in early sobriety and the things that got him through times of isolation.
I didn't know what my interests were other than drinking.
In early sobriety, I went from that world of being immersed in drinking and being around people who partied like me, to a world at the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I was sober, I was avoiding bars, parties and people and so quite quickly I felt isolated. I was going to treatment during the week for my addiction, but I still had all this spare time on my hands that would usually be filled with drinking, so I really struggled with what to do with myself.
I felt I had lost my identity...
I felt I had lost my identity and every time I saw people I knew posting on social media when they were out drinking, I felt a huge sense of sadness and jealousy. I often thought to myself “Is this really worth it?” or “I just want to go back drinking with them”.
The first six months were tough, and I had lots of moments like that, but over time I worked on myself through therapy, I connected with other sober people, I found other ways to spend my time - mostly through exercising. I realised I didn’t need booze to make friendships and to have fun. Those things still exist outside bars and pubs.
I realised I didn’t need booze to make friendships and to have fun. Those things still exist outside bars and pubs
Now I am in my third year of sobriety and wouldn’t change it for the world. My life is the best it has ever been, and I am the happiest I have ever been. I now know exactly who I am and no longer suffer with drinking FOMO, I’m too busy for that! Sobriety is something I deem to be my superpower, and for me it is here to stay.
