I started drinking young, probably 12 or 13. By 14 or so, local pubs would serve me and my mates. As I was taller than most of my friends, I could also get served in shops. In fact, a friend and I would often do the booze buying on the weekend for all our other friends. Looking back, it’s hard to believe that the shopkeepers didn’t know we were underage, considering the many and varied drinks the two of us would buy!
I lived in a small tight knit community, so people knew me, and drinking was just accepted. My parents and extended family all liked a drink. Every occasion was marked by a ‘knees up’ and it was fun!
As I matured into my late teens and early twenties, there was also an element of machismo involved, whereby it was a mark of being a man to be able to drink a lot.
By the time I was 16, I was pretty 'good' at drinking, as were most of my mates. Twenty-five years later, I can still be a classic binge drinker. That said, I don't go out much anymore; with a family to support, I can't afford it.
And when I do go out, I tend to drink way too much which always leads to me feeling like a letdown to my wife and children. This has been the biggest driver in my wanting to change.
Although, I’m finding that I’m still in the habit of drinking at home most weekends with some music and my guitar. I suspect I have used music and creativity as an excuse to drink for some years now. I also think boozing is a crutch socially for me and eases my nerves.
However, knowledge is power. This year, for the first time, I’ve done several work dinner nights (where drinking to excess is commonplace), with just a couple of 0.5% beers and a single glass of wine with the meal: challenging but rewarding. This also made me realise how ridiculous a room full of drunk people can be; nobody listens, repetition is rife, and quite frankly it’s annoying. I literally watched a room full of people - including some of my good friends - talking to each other whilst not paying any attention to anything anyone was saying and, until recently, I would have been in the thick of it! I’m proud of this achievement and will continue to attend these events whilst remaining sober.
Last January, I did the whole month of the Dry January® challenge and plan to do the same in January 2025. I expect the holiday periods will be challenging but as my awareness has grown this last year, I’m optimistic. I've slept so much better and feel happier and less grumpy
Work is easier to focus on and I can be clearer about my intentions in all facets of my life. It’s been a positive experience, much easier than anticipated and hopefully it will remain so. Since last January, the rest of 2024, whilst not always sober, has been an improvement on previous years. I’m not where I want to be yet but I’m confident 2025 will be better than 2024.
*Name changed
