Callum's story: I lost my Dad to alcohol

Callum | February 2023 | 7 minutes

Callum, 22, sadly lost his Dad on Christmas Eve. Here, he tells us about the dangers of alcohol.

Warning: the following blog contains details of the fatal effects of alcohol. In 2021, there were 9,641 alcohol specific deaths in the UK. This story shows the reality of how alcohol can affect individuals, families and communities. Some of the content contained might be difficult to read, but there is support available if you need it. Find out more here:Get help now

Dad and I used to go out to the park a lot when I was younger. I have fond memories of sitting in the park with him drinking shandy and playing around. One day he even accidentally made me fly off a spring rocker! For the first 18 years of my life, I had been so used to him drinking that I didn’t even realise it was a threat.

When Dad was younger, he was always getting into trouble. He was a rowdy young man, and we have memories of him being a bit of a football hooligan. He'd drink a lot when out with his friends and it slowly became something he did at home too. When I was born, he started drinking daily and we were just used to it. I grew up not registering it as a bad thing, so it was really surreal to watch it ruin my relationship with him. He started to say and do quite inappropriate things to the point where I couldn't see him for four years. 

He vowed to never drink again for his health and our family’s wellbeing.

Dad was hospitalised and nearly died from liver failure because of his drinking three years ago. My mum saved his life and watching him struggle to eat and walk in hospital was harrowing. He vowed to never drink again for his health and our family’s wellbeing.

He had a bad alcoholic detox where he was hallucinating that people were trying to kill him and he kept ripping equipment out of his arms and getting agitated. The withdrawal from alcohol caused him to fight off two security guards and escape the hospital, being apprehended by my family on a roadside. That was the one time he tried to quit. After that he was told that one drink could kill him.

During this last festive period, I took my yellow, withering, delirious Dad into hospital. I was sure that he was going to die in the waiting room. A few days after, I was restraining and comforting my hallucinating father while he withdrew from alcohol, terrified for his safety.

I could barely contain my tears when I found almost five litres of empty vodka bottles hidden behind some furniture.

When I took a trip to his flat as the doctors were sure that he’d been drinking again in secret, I could barely contain my tears when I found almost five litres of empty vodka bottles hidden behind some furniture.

My Dad died on Christmas Eve in 2022.

Alcohol misuse is the reason that I don’t have a father.

I want to share Dad's story because people should know how bad alcohol is for both the dependent person and their loved ones. He couldn't see me for years and even that didn't make him stop. Even retching and hallucinating in hospital twice didn't change his mind. The last time I spoke with my Dad, he didn't even know who I was, and he was afraid that animals were going to eat him. Alcohol dependence is a disease, and I wouldn't wish anyone to see the things I saw.

Alcohol misuse is the reason that I don’t have a father, didn’t have a Christmas, and will never be the same again. If you are struggling, please ask for help. Do not be embarrassed, do not be ashamed, and do not hide from your loved ones.

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