217 Sober Weekends: How I found fun and fulfilment

As I step into my 217th sober weekend, I reflect on the shift I’ve experienced since deciding to leave alcohol behind on 7 February 2021. In the past, weekends often felt like a combination of frantic, lazy and exhausting. It felt like I was in a constant state of recovering. Alcohol was once the centrepiece of every social gathering, blurring the moments and turning what could have been meaningful into blackouts and dull routines.

I never fully understood what it meant to be present and, in the moment, until I made the ultimate choice to relinquish my relationship with alcohol. At the time, I didn’t realise how much I had been missing by simply existing through my weekends, rather than truly living them. Once alcohol was out of the equation, everything became clearer. Instead of time slipping away in a haze, every weekend has been a rich opportunity for growth, wellness and connection.

Without the need to distract myself with another drink, I’ve found an abundance of time and energy that I used to waste. Weekends are now filled with meaningful walks - whether alone, with my husband or with a sober group. There’s no rush or pressure, just the simple joy of being fully present in whatever I’m doing. Joining a local gym or starting a new exercise routine, like a walking trail, can help you stay on track. You could also meet new people by going along to an organised walk, explore a country park with friends or even visiting a stately home with beautiful gardens with family. These activities not only help you stay active but also offer the chance to enjoy new experiences and connect with others. Whether it’s hitting the gym for a workout, the pool for a swim, or even diving into a cold-water plunge for that invigorating feeling, I embrace the energy and motivation I now have to do it all—or simply have a relaxing weekend in front of the TV without wine.

One of the most exciting aspects of my sober weekends has been the personal and professional growth I’ve experienced through undertaking training as a Coach in Positive Psychology and Alcohol-Free Performance. Over 12 weekends, I deepened my understanding of human potential and the power of an alcohol-free lifestyle. As an Alcohol-Free Performance Coach, I’ve learned to apply tools and strategies that enhance motivation, build resilience and foster a growth mindset - principles that I now practice in both my personal and professional life. Engaging in activities that keep your mind and body active can be a great way to make the most of your time, especially when it might otherwise be spent unwisely. I used to say I wasn’t a reader, I now find solace in reading, whether it’s quit lit (books to aid sobriety), true crime or biographies. It’s a great way to quiet my mind, free from the constant chatter of when, where and how to drink. Instead, I’m using my time more wisely.

One of the most rewarding changes has been the quality time spent with my family, friends and the new sober connections I’ve made over the years. Whether it’s reading bedtime stories with my grandchild, genuine laughter with friends over a meal, or enjoying the outdoors with a sober group, I’m fully engaged. I never realised how much of life I had been missing until I began to experience it sober. Every moment feels more vibrant, fun and fulfilling. Best of all, the relationships I’ve built—without alcohol—are deeper and more meaningful and that includes my relationship with myself! Starting small is a great way to begin rebuilding relationships during an alcohol-free weekend. You don’t have to dive into anything big, a simple regular phone call to a friend or loved one. Carving out quality time can make a huge difference. Enjoying a quiet meal together, grabbing a coffee, going for a walk or having a telephone conversation. These moments can strengthen your bond without the distractions of alcohol. It’s about creating new, positive memories and showing up for each other in a way that feels intentional and genuine.

What’s most surprising is that none of this even crossed my mind until I made the conscious decision to let go of alcohol. The change wasn’t immediate, but happened slowly. It’s become evident that my weekends are no longer something to "get through." They are a time to nurture myself, connect with others, and fully embrace the life I’ve built without the need for alcohol to be at the centre of it all.

Barbara is a sober coach. You can find out more about her work on her Instagram profile, @sober_in_colour