Week nine: Building your boozeless confidence

Millie Gooch | May 2023 | 6 minutes

There’s no two ways about it, alcohol is liquid courage and when we stop drinking, many of us can struggle with a lack of confidence. Today’s blog is all about dating in the sober space and let’s be honest, dating can be terrifying even when you are on the sauce.

I’m Millie Gooch, founder of the Sober Girl Society, here to bring you some brilliant tips on tackling Sober Spring – the three-month break from alcohol.

So how do you grow in confidence when you’ve so often relied on alcohol to give it to you? Well from someone who has done everything from sober dating to sober networking – here are my top-tips for feeling braver without booze.

1. Tackle the root cause

Start by interrogating why you feel the need to reach for alcohol when it comes to confidence. Are you worried you can’t hold a decent conversation without it? Are you typically anxious? Well, the next step is to address it. This could involve everything from reading books about self-love, taking a workshop in networking or attending a dance class to give you confidence on a night out.

2. Self-hype is the new self-help

Self-hyping is the act of deliberately making yourself excited and confident. You can self-hype by putting on your favourite sassy playlist, saying nice things about yourself or even physically shaking yourself up to muster up all your confident energy. Work out what makes you feel your most confident self and do it before a scary social occasion.

3. Do things that scare you

There are a few ways to give yourself an instant confidence boost but if you want something longer-lasting, you need to start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and proving to yourself that you can do things without a drink. Whilst you shouldn’t ever put yourself in situations that you find triggering, if it’s just a case of being a little bit scared then say yes to the invite, go on that date or make conversation with someone at a party. Once you realise things aren’t terrifying, you’ll start to grow in confidence and be able to tackle the bigger stuff.

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