In 2017, I was out shopping at the local retail park, and I started to feel under the weather. I drove home as it’s only a couple of miles away and once there, I felt a pain across my shoulders and in my arm and the pain grew in intensity. I asked my wife to phone for an ambulance. When they got here, they told me I was having a heart attack. At 47, this was a shock.
February 2023 |
9 minutes
Dave was 47 when he had a heart attack. Because of this, he developed a health anxiety and turned to drink. Here, he tells us how he overcame his alcohol dependency.
I eventually agreed with my wife that I was suffering from health anxiety and the drink was not helping.
After a stint in hospital, I took up the option of cardio rehabilitation course designed to help you on the path of a healthier lifestyle. It worked, I lost about 3 stone and was moving more than I ever had. But I was struggling mentally. Every day I was constantly thinking about heart attacks, strokes, blood clots and dying. So, in the evening, I took to chilling and having a few cans and the world felt fixed. After a year, I eventually agreed with my wife that I was suffering from health anxiety and the drink was not helping so I was referred to alcohol recovery services in my area.
I met with a counsellor, and I decided to taper my drinking with a view to eventually becoming abstinent. It all went well until I got down to eight cans per day and I just couldn’t seem to get any lower, saying I would have seizures and die if I stopped too quick didn’t help my anxiety. My counsellor stepped in and worked with me closely and within seven days I had finished the meds and not had one drop and I stayed sober for about six to eight weeks.
I went for a liver scan and in the lift, I saw my own reflection in the mirror, and I was the same colour as Homer Simpson, very yellow as if it was body paint.
But I started to drink again and increase my intake. Although I knew alcohol made me more anxious the next day, I needed the peace it gave me for a few hours.
I was a mess drinking and sleeping on repeat until I asked to go to A&E as something wasn’t right. They took my bloods, and the results said it was life threatening and they told me I needed to be admitted. I went for a liver scan and in the lift, I saw my own reflection in the mirror, and I was the same colour as Homer Simpson, very yellow as if it was body paint. I had a gallbladder infection that was spreading to other organs. I stayed sober for about eight weeks just long enough for me to see the consultant and have a liver function test done again and he told me everything was looking OK considering where I was and the results I had. He did warn me the people with results like mine don’t normally leave hospital and he gave credit to the doctor and treatment I received.
I now take care of my mind and body.
As the weeks went by the thoughts started again along with anxiety. I thought I had beat the system so four cans on a weekend would be OK. Recovery services didn’t deal with me due to my relapse, so life returned as if nothing had changed only this time the alcohol intake had increased to a litre of vodka a day. It was Christmas 2020. I remember small snippets of December and January 2021, but I was in full blackout, able to function (to a degree) and hold conversations but I have no recollection of that time. It was during this time I apparently had the conversation with my wife, and we decided a treatment centre was the way forward, but I was worried about the cost. After my five days in rehabilitation at Bradford I got moved to Runcorn for the remainder of my 28 days. If it were not for James (fellow north easterner) I wouldn’t have gone to Runcorn. The first few days were terrible as I couldn’t walk or eat.
I don’t know how, but this time I was successful. I have tried many recovery methods, but I just do what suits me and keeps my head in check because for me alcohol was never the problem. My alcohol dependency was a result of being mentally unwell. It was my escape and the only way I knew how to get rest and peace. I now take care of my mind and body as I know if I don’t, it will return, and I will look for a way out.
