After a devastating relationship breakdown in 2019, I decided that I wanted to try to move on in 2020. I knew that I drank too much. I was 52 and although I had always kept fit, I drank most nights and was fed up of feeling sluggish, looking less than my best and not sleeping well. I also knew that drinking increased my risk of breast cancer, which did worry me too.
I started drinking as a teenager because I was very shy and felt that drinking gave me confidence. Later, I am sure I self-medicated to deal with various issues. All my friends drank too much and I just thought that getting drunk at weekends was normal and fun. Looking back I don’t think it was fun at all really. It was just a bad routine. As I got older, I stopped going out and getting drunk, but became a home drinker and it became an almost nightly event, one glass of wine becoming two thirds of a bottle all too often. I knew that drinking had impacted on my relationship at times and I wanted to be sure that that never happened again. I just felt that drinking featured too much in my life.
I had tried to do Dry January before but not been able to complete it. I woke up one day in December 2019 and decided that I wanted to do Dry January and that the only way to make myself stick to it was to ask for sponsorship.
I was absolutely amazed that I managed a full month without drinking a single drop. I don’t think I had done that in my whole adult life! I didn’t feel physically better immediately and had I not been sponsored, I would have given in during the first weekend! But it got easier and easier and was actually liberating to know that my body was healing inside. I started to enjoy not drinking and felt some new self-respect. I was also so proud that I had raised a good sum for Alcohol Change UK.
Unfortunately, my new vastly reduced drinking pattern was hit hard by COVID-19. My plans to move on with my life were dented by the first lockdown, which I spent pretty much alone. I found that so hard and still do. I have been drinking most nights since lockdown – but I have managed to keep my drinking down to round and about safe drinking levels. That said, as the second lockdown and dark nights loom, I know that I risk slipping into my old ways.
Last January I found the Try Dry app and the associated book that Alcohol Change UK offers to be really, really helpful. I am going to use the book to help me not to drink so much even before we get to Dry January. I might have the odd glass of wine, but what Dry January gave me was the knowledge that I CAN go alcohol-free and that its absolutely fine. In that sense Dry January has changed my life. Had it not been for the sheer shock of the pandemic, I think I would have carried on drinking very little. But I am going to be kind with myself. It was a tough year, I went back a bit, but I will get back on track with Dry January. I don’t feel that I have to stop drinking completely, but I don’t ever again want to feel that I need to drink in order to relax, or that I can’t enjoy myself or go out without drinking. I am making my way back to a healthier, happier life – and I’ll save money while I’m at it!
