After my father died, my uncle stayed with us for several weeks. He was a caring, funny, larger than life character and a heavy drinker. Bottles of wine with dinner and large glasses of whiskey through the evening - along with funny anecdotes - provided a warm fuzzy space that made coping with my loss so much easier. Yet that pattern of drinking remained, albeit at a lesser extent, for the next 25 years. A few glasses of wine making dinner, a glass with dinner and a whiskey before bed. Never black-out drunk, just a warm fuzzy space to take the edge off the problems of the day.
I've known it was a problem for years. I have struggled to stop for more than a few days, I lie in bed feeling guilty; when challenged by my husband I’d become defensive; I’d buy wine on the way to work because the thought of not having any when I got home worried me. Half to three quarters of a bottle of red and a small whiskey every day - for years. Always the same drink, always the same time. And always accompanied by crisps and cheese. Habit, routine, self preservation. Excuses: I deserve it, work was stressful, husband moody, it’s the weekend, somethings gone well, somethings gone badly…
The effects: high blood pressure, weight gain, guilt, hot flashes, poor sleep, etc. I have known for years that I needed to cut down, moderate or stop!
I’ve tried the Dry January® challenge before but always replaced the alcohol with a substitute, such as alcohol free wine or ginger ale (to replace the whisky). The snacking remained the same, the habit remained the same. It became so easy to slip back, replacing Friday’s alcohol-free drink with real wine, finishing the bottle on Saturday and then buying a new bottle because the left-over half wasn’t quite enough! Just drinking on Friday became a weekend of drinking, and this slipped into the rest of the week.
