Kate’s story: “More care needs to be taken by delivery companies”

Pictured: Nala, Kate's dog - "She's my reason for getting out of bed and into nature for some lovely little walks."

I’ve struggled with alcohol for as long as I remember, but it got worse after a relationship breakup six years ago. He was emotionally abusive and so I drank to hide my pain.

The drinking 'habit' crept in slowly at first. But then I started to hide it. By the time I had finally split up with my partner, I was too far gone in drink. I went from functioning to nonfunctioning within months.

I couldn't get out of the house. I knew I wouldn’t make it to the shop and, if I did, they wouldn’t sell me drink because I was already drunk.

So I found a rapid grocery delivery app. They delivered 24 hours a day. Vodka was twice as much as I’d pay in the shop, but I didn’t care, and I’d order three litres at a time. Then came the food delivery apps – two of them. They were still expensive, but they delivered a lot faster.

I used to have deliveries on tandem from them, getting deliveries up to nine times a day from each. I’d drink, pass out, order, drink, pass out, order. This continued over and over. I'd only stop when my money ran out – and have shaking, hallucinations, sickness. I’d stay off alcohol for a while and then I’d start the cycle again when payday came.

Never once was I questioned or stopped by those businesses. They don’t care – it's all money, isn’t it?

The last time I drank was 20 months ago. I was drinking constantly. I had to because the shakes became so bad that they were uncontrollable. I drank solidly for three months, getting my deliveries in tandem.

The delivery drivers saw I was barely coherent when they dropped the alcohol off. Most of them passed it to me through a gap in the fence.

Then, when I was no longer able to get out of bed, I left a note on the door that said to just bring the drink inside for me. I lied on the note and said they were given full permission by a family member. So they just brought the alcohol inside to my bedroom - my prison. Never once did I think of my safety, being inside alone with a stranger. It makes my blood run cold now, thinking about what could have happened to me.

That was when my story changed. I ended up in hospital. I was suffering malnutrition on top of liver and kidney problems. I hadn’t eaten anything apart from the odd bite of bread to try and keep me going. I was knocking on death’s door and was so close to death it was terrifying. The hospital did what was needed, but I felt a lot of the nurses saw me as just draining the NHS, and I wasn’t treated too kindly by them.

I knew I had to change. I knew I didn’t want to die, so I’ve made changes. Sadly, there isn't much help after you're discharged from hospital, so I worked hard to go it alone. I made the choice to give my bank cards to my sister, gave up my phone and got a simple ring and text phone. My iPad went as well so I had absolutely no way of being able to order or go out to buy drink. I started to eat healthier.

I’ve got a little dog named Nala. She’s my world so, after everything she had been through (because our pets suffer as well), we went on long beautiful walks. It was good to notice my surroundings for the first time in many years. Life’s beautiful. It’s not been easy, but I learnt if I was able to make 100 excuses to drink, I can make 200 excuses not to drink.

We have to make a stand to stop these companies selling alcohol time after time just to make money. Something really has to change - these companies need to put a cap on sales and the government has to act. I believe if more care is taken by companies there could be fewer deaths. I think addresses should be flagged up on the online order system to say no more deliveries after a certain point. There has to be a way of doing it with all the technology we have today.