Paul's story: "It is vital that we make things safer for people"

I myself have experienced substance dependency in the past and have turned this into a decade of working to help others. It’s my tenth anniversary in recovery this July. So I have full appreciation of the challenges presented when it comes to maintaining a sustained and healthy recovery journey.

I first met my friend in April 2022. We met online through a social media platform and shared a lot of common interests, especially dogs! She has the most friendly, happy-go-lucky, bubbly personality and a somewhat rebellious streak. I thought she was really cool. We formed a relationship over some time. I would go to visit her, we would go for walks in nature and trips out to various places including artisan markets, as well as nice meals. She’s a wizard in the kitchen!

Things went well for a considerable time and I never saw evidence of her struggling with her relationship with alcohol, although she did disclose to me that she had previously, and had been to rehab. I felt a connection given my own history with substances - it brought us closer together.

Then, one day, the messages between us suddenly stopped and I couldn’t get through to her when calling. I found it a little strange given that we spoke all of the time when not together. I didn't initially have concerns but, as the day went on, I did begin to wonder if something was wrong. Then the second day came, and the situation remained the same. A fear that something was wrong set in. So I went to her house.

I arrived at the address and knocked on the front door. No answer. I went round the back and knocked on the window. I could hear her dog barking. The neighbours came out and explained that my friend hadn't been seen for a couple of days. They knew who I was and had a spare key given by her parents in case of an emergency. I cautiously unlocked the door, not knowing what to expect.

The smell of alcohol immediately hit me. I walked into the dining room. To my horror, all I could see was a sea of bottles, empty rapid delivery service bags, and pizza boxes across the floor.

My friend was in a very bad way - very intoxicated, scared and upset. I tried my best to comfort her while trying to make sense of what was happening.

A few moments later there was a knock on the door. It was a delivery driver, standing at the door with yet more alcohol. I answered the door and began literally begging and pleading with him not to give my friend the alcohol, given the state she was in. She demanded I let the driver give her the alcohol. He said he "had no choice.” I asked him what shop it came from, so I went to confront them too. They simply said the same thing: “there is nothing we can do, she ordered it online.”

What to do? I was still in shock, I tried my best to make sure she was okay before I left. I contacted her parents and put her phone on charge. That night I couldn't sleep. I lay in bed thinking “how is this even possible?” My thoughts turned to what I could do about this terrible situation. How could I help her?

Since then, I have contacted local licensing authorities, plus my previous and current MPs, along with some of my old colleagues from my time working in drug services. I was met with great resistance early on, with one person I spoke with saying “you’re dealing with a powerful enemy,” but I finally managed to get my MP to take note. This only after three years of supporting my friend, all while trying to pull every lever I had at my disposal to get new policies implemented.

I’m supporting Alcohol Change UK’s ‘End the delivery trap’ campaign to help those currently affected by rapid alcohol deliveries and also to help my dear friend, with the hope she can manage to get back to sustained recovery and get her spark for life back. It is vital that we make things safer for people when it comes to the online sale of alcohol – and especially for those experiencing dependence or alcohol harm as a result of insufficiently regulated online alcohol delivery services.