Sober Spring Sober Spring Week 2: How to recognise when you might need extra help to make a change

“I’m not going to drink as much tonight”.

“I’m just going to stick to beer as spirits make me blackout.”

“I am going to stop drinking next week.”

Sound familiar? These are some of the things I used to say to myself week in, week out.

When I would say things like this, I truly meant it. The intention was genuine and I wanted to change. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it alone. Which is something that took me far too long to learn. We shouldn’t live in regret. Life is all about lessons, right? But looking back I do wish I could have swallowed my pride sooner and admitted I needed some extra help to make a change.

I will admit, I loved a drink and what I thought it gave me: confidence, freedom, joy, escapism, fun. But the reality is that, for me, those things also came with an ill-balanced tonne of shame, regret, guilt, depression and anxiety. Not to mention consequences stacking up such as money issues, struggling with work, poor health and difficulty being able to show up for people - whether that be friends, family or romance.

Occasionally I could stop for a week here or there and I would think: “Oh I’m fine, I don’t have a problem, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to take a break like that”. I would use those very infrequent examples as evidence that I didn’t have a “drink problem” and therefore an excuse to continue drinking the way that I was.

But what is a “drink problem”? A myth, I would say. If alcohol is causing unwanted friction in your life and you are struggling to change it like I was, then I would say maybe it needs some exploration. I knew deep down my situation wasn’t healthy and I was kidding myself but the thing is, I didn’t know how to live with or without alcohol, so it was easier to keep doing the same thing over and over.

So, how do you find help?

If any of this is resonating with you, Sober Spring could be the perfect opportunity to explore your relationship with alcohol. Committing to a set period of sobriety - alongside a supportive community - might be the extra push you need to make a change. When I first started out, I had no idea how transformative sobriety could be, and sometimes, just having a structured challenge like this can help you test the waters in a way that feels less daunting.

You may even want some extra support alongside Sober Spring, so why not start close to home with someone that you trust and have a strong bond with? It sounds obvious but actually they can often feel like the most difficult people to speak to. I had friends telling me I had a problem for years, but I ignored it and was too scared to talk about it. When I eventually did, people were super supportive. People want to help and those who care about you will look out for you.

In addition, you could speak to your GP. Not a lot of people think to speak to a doctor, but they are trained to have these conversations and will be able to provide support as well as directing you to local drug and alcohol services if that is the appropriate path for you.

Lastly, get curious about sobriety and what it means to be 'sober curious'. You will find so many amazing people on social media who talk openly about their experience. The same with podcasts. It really helped me in the early days to hear stories from other people as it made me feel less alone and less like something was wrong with me.

You may notice that I shared my advice before concluding with the help I had. I did that on purpose because often people can hear someone else's experience and decide that their own is different and they check out.

One of the things I really struggled with was being queer and my social circle. Drinking and drugs were a huge part of how I socialised with the LGBTQ+ community. So, my first port of call for help was the LGBT Foundation as it felt safe to me. They gave me immediate support and got me onto a waiting list for funded treatment which I had no idea was possible. I knew I probably needed rehab but also knew I couldn’t afford it as addiction had me in debt up to my eyeballs.

Eventually, I got into treatment for alcohol and drug addiction, all thanks to that initial support from the LGBT Foundation who then referred me on to other services. I had six months of treatment overall - it involved a lot of therapy, unpacking my past and doing the work. It wasn’t easy. But that was in 2021, and I have been sober ever since. I was a daily drinker, so it still blows my mind that I have gone from that to where I am today. Now I’m an Ambassador for this amazing charity and so if that isn’t an example of how transformative sobriety can be, I don’t know what is!

Being sober is the biggest life hack, wherever you sit on the spectrum of usage, the benefits of making a change are undeniable. It is a radical act of turning up for yourself because you deserve it and to reiterate, asking for some help along the way will likely be one of the best decisions you ever make as it was for me.