Iona’s story: “Delivery apps made things significantly worse - they removed every barrier to accessing alcohol”

Trigger warning: This blog contains reference to the loss of a loved one.

My mum died at 54 years old from an embolism that her 28-year battle with alcohol dependency greatly contributed to, as stated on her death certificate.

Her alcohol dependency isolated her from the world around her. It changed who she was. It took away pieces of the mum I knew and loved long before it took her life. Watching someone you love disappear while they are still alive is something I struggle to put into words.

It feels like I lost her twice in my lifetime, first as a child to the alcohol, and then as an adult when she passed away.

My mum was genuinely one of the funniest people I knew. She was clever, quick-witted, and could make people laugh effortlessly. She cared deeply about people and always wanted others to feel included and looked after. Even when she was struggling herself, she still worried about everyone else.

When I think about her, I think about her singing loudly to music down the phone, making jokes at completely inappropriate moments, being incredibly intelligent and opinionated, and loving us fiercely. She had so much warmth in her.

I don’t want people to picture the alcohol dependency she experienced first. She wasn’t “just an alcoholic.” She was my mummy. She was a person who became isolated by the harm she faced, which carries so much shame that people suffer silently until it is too late.

She deserved help without judgement. She deserved support.

For my mum, shame made her withdraw from the world. Towards the end, she barely left the house. The isolation became severe. Alcohol harm thrives in silence, and I think a lot of that silence comes from fear. Fear of judgement, fear of being seen as weak, fear of people misunderstanding. There’s still a huge stigma, especially for women and mothers. I think that shame stops people asking for help early enough, and it also stops families speaking openly about what they’re experiencing. The effects were devastating. It affected every part of our family life emotionally and practically.

Towards the end, the reality of the alcohol dependence she was experiencing was devastating. When sorting out my mum’s house, I cleared bottles from her bed, and many more hidden in cupboards throughout the house too. She was effectively living surrounded by alcohol.

It was my brother, who was only 15, who found our mum dead at 54 years old. No child should ever have to experience that, and I don’t want another family to go through what we have.

I want people to understand how accessible alcohol now is, especially through delivery apps. My mum rarely left the house towards the end. She rarely left her room, yet alcohol was still constantly arriving at the house.

The delivery apps made things significantly worse because they removed every barrier to accessing alcohol. It could be delivered to her door constantly, with no real safeguarding or intervention, even when it was obvious she was unwell and vulnerable.

What deeply disturbs me is that, if she wasn’t leaving her room to answer the door herself, delivery drivers were handing alcohol over to my 15-year-old brother. A child. That should never have happened. Where was the safeguarding? Where were the protections under licensing laws? We constantly hear about Challenge 25 and strict alcohol regulations, yet somehow alcohol was repeatedly being handed to a minor in a visibly vulnerable household without intervention.

I understand that alcohol delivery services are convenient for many adults, but there needs to be accountability when patterns of extreme, harmful consumption become obvious. There should be stronger safeguarding measures, better staff training, and real consequences for companies that fail to protect vulnerable people and children. Right now, it feels far too easy for people struggling with alcohol dependence to disappear behind closed doors while alcohol continues to arrive on demand.

It’s stayed with me that she disclosed her struggles with alcohol to various support agencies - openly sharing detailed information about her alcohol dependency and how severely it was affecting her life - yet no support or safeguarding seemed to come from that disclosure. In my opinion, the bigger picture was often missed completely. As a family, it often felt like we were watching someone drown while systems dealt with isolated pieces of the problem instead of the person as a whole.

I am also in recovery myself, which makes this loss even more complex and painful to process. I understand firsthand how powerful addiction can be, but I also understand the importance of compassion, support and honesty around recovery.

I am sharing this because I do not want another family to go through what ours has. I do not want more children growing up around alcohol dependency without proper support. I do not want more people dying in silence because it is still misunderstood, minimised, or hidden away.

I think we overcome this by talking honestly about alcohol dependency, not treating it as a moral failing, but by improving support systems, and creating more safeguarding around vulnerable people who clearly need support.