For a pretty sizable portion of my life, alcohol was the key player. From influencing the people I hung out with, my friendships and relationships, to even dictating what my hobbies were and even how I spent my time.
May 2025 |
11 minutes
Michael Singh is an Alcohol Change UK Ambassador, project manager and alcohol-free advocate. Michael decided to go alcohol free in 2020 because of the negative impact alcohol was having on his mental health and wellbeing. Today, he talks to us about how he keeps life entertaining without the need to fall back on drinking.
"For about 15 years of my life, booze had contorted my brain so much that I felt drinking was the only thing that could lead to a sense of fun and excitement.”
If a plan didn’t involve drinking, or prevented me from doing so, I would either refuse to go or resent every moment I spent during it.
“So when I quit the booze, I was left with a sudden and daunting realisation, I literally had no idea what I actually enjoyed doing or what I even found fun.”
I’m pretty certain this experience isn’t unique to me, and there’s other people that will likely feel (or will have felt) in this position too. When you let something take control of your life for so long, you can feel very lost without it. Like taking the stabilisers off your bike for the first time, or swimming without armbands; the world suddenly felt a lot more open and scary.
One of things I noticed immediately, was how much additional time I had in the day. It’s pretty wild to think back and reflect on the sheer amount of time I spent on trips to the pub, or the four pack of lager sat on the couch listening to depressing music, or the hungover days binge-watching all the lowest-rated slasher films. You cut this out of your life, and weekends can suddenly feel barren.
“The confusion of who I was, and the additional time I now had to stew about it, made a pretty terrifying and lethal combination. So where did I start?”
Rekindle old hobbies
A fresh start is a perfect excuse to try and rekindle old hobbies. My first approach was to reminisce about my previous life, to try and recall what brought me joy.
“I wanted to find the things that made me tick, to see what I could pick up again, and build on.”
I was always a creative lad, and enjoyed the process of making things, and drawing. So, after a long hiatus away from it, I started sketching once again. It’s one of those activities which can really focus the mind and shut out the rest of the world. This hobby really grew on me to the extent that I couldn’t put the pencil down, and I only did so once I discovered digital art!
Embrace those things you always thought were quirks too. I was always a nerd, and I made the decision to lean into it, and so I started really getting into Dungeons & Dragons, and playing as much as I could. By really hitting some of the inner makings of your personality, you really start to realise how much fun you can have.
Experiment with new activities
I spent a lot of time scouring apps like Eventbrite and Meetup, looking for that event or group that ignited something within me.
“This is where my eyes were firmly opened after realising how many fun and interesting things are actually out there that didn’t involve alcohol at all!”
Putting yourself out there, and trying new things can be quite a daunting experience if you’re shy like me. What I found really useful was to take on a mentality of playful curiosity and reassure myself that the only thing I had to lose was potentially an afternoon. But even then, I will have learned something new about myself!
I found going to different hobby type events the perfect opportunity to experiment. There’s structure and support around it, and no expectation from the organisers on people to be experienced. I tried out all sorts of things including painting workshops, sharing circles, bouldering, pottery, ecstatic dance, and sound baths. The best thing about some of the creative events is that you’ll likely end up with your own personal memento at the end too.
Clubs (not the boozy kind)
Likewise with trying new hobbies, I took a similar approach with seeking out what clubs were out there. After just a little bit of investigation, I realised that there is no shortage of opportunities out there: from running and exercise clubs and creativity workshops, to hippy communities, and dance rave circles. And these are just the ones I tried out! I really found my people in some of these spaces, and met so many wonderful souls on the way.
“I never thought I’d enjoy things like running, or raving in a glittery vest, but I was surprised by how much I didn’t know about myself.”
There’s a level of accountability a club brings too. You’re not on your own and the planning is done for you! There’s no stress to constantly do it, but there’s structure in place for you when you are able to join.
“Having a sense of kinship and feeling part of something did wonders for my mental health, whilst also giving so many new opportunities for more fun and enjoyment.”
Connection and community
Connecting with new people and feeling part of something were the things that truly elevated my enjoyment in life. It all started when I uncovered that there was a huge sober community, one that keeps on growing at an amazing rate.
“When I first quit drinking, I didn’t realise that there were so many other sober people out there, let alone that they would proudly communicate and share their experiences.”
Setting up a sober account on Instagram helped me connect to so many new people.
“I’d always thought alcohol would be a social-life destroyer, but it turned out to be quite the opposite.”
I’ve met so many new amazing friends on this journey, and that all started from a simple click of a button on Instagram. Social media has its flaws, but it really does help bring people together and connect people from all over the world.
Through this, I was able to transition away from friendships built around the pub. Instead, these were replaced with people that genuinely cared about me, and were interested in me as a person.
There’s also plenty of alternatives too. I’ve never tried it, but I’ve heard of great experiences of people meeting through Bumble BFF. Trying out new clubs, events and apps like Meetup are big catalysts for connection.
Go easy on yourself
“The main thing is to try and go easy on yourself, move at your own pace, and treasure and embrace these moments of finding out more about how you tick.”
It’s okay if you don’t get it right each time, but try not to let that ruin your experience or put you off trying something else.
I got it wrong on multiple occasions but the key part for me was learning about what I would want to do again, and what I found excitement and joy in.
