Zena's story: What the Dry January® challenge gave me, and still gives me every day

In January 2022, I re-found a part of myself, by simply taking a break from alcohol. Not because I had to. Not because I was waking up with hangovers or making regrettable decisions. I was a ‘middle lane’, or average weekend drinker, but I knew I was drinking more than I should. Something wasn’t sitting right. In the past two years I’d lost five stone, become an athlete, and secured a promotion. Yet, despite all that, I still felt like I was living life with the volume turned down.

Doing a dry month was an experiment for me. I couldn’t quite articulate how alcohol was getting in the way, but I knew deep down that it was.

I wanted to see what might change, maybe nothing would? I was scared, and looking back at my journal now, the entry on day three simply says “I don’t know if I can do this as I feel so alone”.

Within the first two weeks however, I noticed subtle shifts. My sleep improved, my perimenopausal night heat stopped waking me up. My energy levels soared. I wasn’t just functioning Monday to Friday; I was thriving seven days a week. Waking up on a Monday, I felt great rather than dread! Work felt easier. My runs were faster. I was more present in conversations, more alert in meetings, more alive in my own skin. The volume was turning up.

Reading the journal I kept during my dry month to write this blog was a real emotional ride. Some entries surprised me, others made me really sad, and others proud. But what stood out most was the growth. It wasn’t just a month off. It was the beginning of a new way of being, I found a part of me that had got lost, I found the real me.

Day 10: “A positive and determined mental attitude has made it possible to do a weekend, a Saturday and Sunday night, without alcohol. I feel lighter. I feel amazing."

That feeling wasn’t fleeting. It grew; it’s still growing. The internal chatter quietened. I stopped second guessing myself.

After January was complete, during the first weekend of February 2022 I went away with friends. I was scared, not just of how they’d respond, but of how I’d show up. Would I be my usual funny, energetic, free self? Or would I be quiet, shy, and boring?

Firstly, I had to tell them I wasn’t drinking! In my head it was a big deal, but they didn’t care! After that conversation I was able to be myself. Completely. And that’s what my dear friends told me at the end of the weekend. “You were just you.” I realised then in that moment, I didn’t need alcohol to have fun. I never had, I just thought I did.

That pattern of reassurance continued. I started banking the evidence. Each time I went to a gig or out and stayed fully present, I felt stronger.

Each Monday morning, I woke up clear headed, I felt more confident. Each time I laughed or danced or connected without a drink, I felt more like me.

My journal notes captured my insecurities, my worries about myself and what others may be thinking, and whether I could do it - the inner battles and ongoing self-doubt. But I soon realised that I was doing this for me, I liked what I was seeing and how I was feeling. Each day I made the decision to carry on being me.

There were practical things that helped me too. I found drink alternatives, I treated myself with new alcohol-free brands that gave me the same celebratory feel as my old rituals, something delicious poured into fancy glass. The experimenting continued as I realised it was the ceremony and ritual of drinking that was the habit for me, not the alcohol. The alternatives have got better, it’s normal for a bar or restaurant to have alcohol-free alternatives on the menu. I always ask in advance, just to make sure they have them stocked so they know people want an alternative.

I read ‘quit lit’, I followed sober voices online who spoke with honesty and hope. Later down the road, I found dry communities, people who were choosing an alternative lifestyle without alcohol.

And I counted my days in the Try Dry app, each day was a quiet private win.

I still remember Day 90. I announced to my family that I was never going back to drinking, I don’t know why but that was the day I felt unstoppable and that feeling has never left me.

Since January 2022, everything has changed. I retrained as a coach and left behind a 27-year career in HR IT in higher education. Now, I work with women and leaders who, like me, are quietly questioning their relationship with alcohol. And that’s the message I want to share. You don’t have to justify your decision to anyone. Your reason for doing the Dry January® challenge is yours. It might just be an experiment like mine was and that is okay. What matters is why you are doing it for you.

I remember having 100,000 thoughts trying to decide whether to drink on a night or not. What will others think? Can I moderate? Is alcohol causing a problem in my life? Will life be better without it? Will I be boring? No one else hears your thoughts. No one else needs to. You are your actions. And during the Dry January® challenge, it’s your actions that count, for you.

To learn more about Zena, visit @zenas_coaching