In December 2018, I was in a very different place. My marriage was in a really bad way, my weight had spiralled out of control and my blood pressure was dangerously high. I knew I had to do something. I’d tried moderating and it lasted two days. Hiding alcohol from my wife had somehow become part of the norm and I had virtually lost all conscience about doing so.
I glanced at a reflection in the mirror and spoke out loud, “Who are you, what have you become?”
You see, I had completely lost all respect for myself. I knew I was better than this, yet alcohol took over my thoughts on a daily basis. I began 2019 the same as ever: drinking like a fish and very much still in denial about how serious my drinking was, but equally being aware that it had to end.
I was driving to work on 7 January 2019 with a hangover from hell when I received a text message. It was from a very close friend of mine. It read: ’Do you want to give up alcohol for three months with me, to see where you are with your health and your marriage?’
I chucked the phone on the empty seat next to me and laughed out loud. Three months! I can’t even go three days. However, the message sank in throughout the day and later that evening that friend and I met up, talked, I shook his hand and said: “Deal.”
I was very lucky in some ways that it was the start of the Dry January® challenge . I did lots of googling and found the Alcohol Change UK website which had lot of online resources. I created my Instagram page @soberdave and decided to share my journey, the highs, the lows, the complete truth. I was amazed at the support I was receiving. I could see immediate results. My marriage began improving overnight - the fact we were sleeping in the same bed was a start, rather than me falling asleep drunk on the sofa! My sleeping pattern was all over the place but at least there were no hangovers.
After a couple of weeks, I wanted to be honest with myself. What would happen after the three months were over? I knew I would be right back where I was before. That’s when I made the life-changing decision to stop drinking alcohol forever.
It wasn’t all smooth sailing. Spring was difficult as we had a mini heatwave and it seemed like wherever I looked people were drinking. I had to dig deep and take each day as it came - some were easy, some were tough, but I just knew there was no turning back.
In a few days’ time I will be celebrating my first soberversary. I’ve lost 10kg, hosted two sober events, spoken on several panels about my sobriety and, most excitingly, I’m about to embark on a course to train as a recovery coach. My life has changed for the better in every way.
If you are considering doing the Dry January® challenge, I would encourage you to visit the Alcohol Change UK website and check out all the resources they offer. Read all the tips and download the Try Dry® app. Follow as many sober people as you can on your desired social media platform and tell everyone you know that you are doing it - you never know, it may even encourage them to join you!
The Dry January® challenge is a real opportunity to start to change your lifestyle, whether it’s being more mindful with your drinking habits or deciding to abstain completely. Being sober has opened up a whole new world for me. I feel very blessed, and very lucky.
To see more from Dave, check out his website, and follow him on Instagram (@soberdave) and Twitter (@soberdaveuk).
